Today has seemed like it's been the longest day. I was so tired this afternoon that I just laid on the sofa about 5ish and didn't move until after 6. That was only cuz I needed to feed my beautiful rugrat. =) Me and Mama started really early today to head to Coushatta to see my Grandfather and to finish sorting out his dr. appointments. We still have to get his Medicaid papers filled out and had the Social worker look the forms up online for us to have a copy of them since we havn't recieved anything from them yet. We know he quailifies for Nursing Home Medicare because he was recieving it the couple of months he was in the bad nursing home.

My visits with my Grandfather are so bittersweet. I know he doesn't remember me coming to see him. He does know me though when I am there but that's about it. Forget a real conversation...I say something and he comments back with something entirely not related to anything I just said. I persevere though and try not to leave in tears. It's just so heart wrenching to see a loved one slip away from reality and to see his health decline as rapidly as it has since last summer. I just wanna hang on tight and not let him go. I think I am having such a hard time because he is my LAST grandparent alive. When he passes...I don't get to be the Grandbaby anymore. I was my Grandmother's favorite and she passed away 14 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I was not as close to my other grandparents as these. Not because I didn't love them but because I was the first Grandchild for my father's parents. We lived next door to them for the majority of my childhood. So much of who I am is from them. I am so sorry to be so emotional in my postings sometimes but things in RL just spill over and I free write in my postings. If I don't, I don't think I could handle what life throws my way sometimes.

So here we end up at todays photo for Project 365

♥Me huggin-N-luvin' on my Papaw♥

Day 125

Me and Shaina did not get her nails done last night like we wanted so we made up for that tonite. She has never had any artificial nails...and these just tickled her to death to try them out. It's a good thing Walmart has something a little more on the funky side for a non-girly girl.

And here she is giving one of her pretty smiles.